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Sometimes Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan

In 2014, we decided it was time to start our family. We had finally finished our home renovations and had settled into jobs that would be great for a baby (Liz got a job where she could work 100% from home). But things didn’t come easily for us, and in the fall of 2014, we started fertility treatments.

It took a years of medicated cycles, and three brutal rounds of IVF, but in December of 2017 we finally were successful and got pregnant with a beautiful little boy. We were so excited to finally get to be parents. We also learned that we wouldn’t be able to go through IVF again, as Liz is essentially allergic to the medication they needed to give her. We didn’t care, our plan was to have our baby boy and then adopt a second baby since adoption was always something we wanted to do. Unfortunately, Liz went into preterm labor at 18 weeks and our sweet baby boy was born too soon. It was heartbreaking, but with the help of therapy, our church, and each other we were able to move forward growing our family.

We knew IVF was off of the table, so after waiting a bit, we decided to pursue adoption and discovered embryo adoption. We adopted five embryos, and in the spring of 2018, found out we were pregnant with not one, but two babies! We were so excited, and took extra precautions with at home bed rest, surgery, and lots of fluids to make sure Liz stayed pregnant. Unfortunately, Liz went into preterm labor again at about 19 weeks, and our daughter was born. Through extraordinary measures our doctor and nurse team was able to stop labor and delivery, and after three months of hospital bed rest, we welcomed our son, Max Elliott into the world. He was really tiny, born at just 24 weeks gestation, but beautiful and perfect to us in every way. We were so happy to have a baby in the NICU and just loved spending all the time we could with him. Sadly, Max suffered a complication, and despite the heroic efforts of the doctors and nurses, passed away at two weeks old. He and his brother and sister now rest peacefully in the cemetery together, and we can’t wait to see them all in heaven one day.

Despite losing three children, we still desire deeply to be parents. While we wouldn’t wish this struggle on ourselves or anyone else for that matter, the journey has strengthened our faith and our marriage. It’s part of our story, and has molded us into the people we are today.